5 Reasons We Probably Suck

First of all, I'd like to take a second before I get to the heart of this post to let you know how much I appreciate all of you.  The loss of my uncle was a blow to my family and words cannot express how much all of your kind words, thoughts, texts, phone calls and messages meant to me in the past week.  I couldn't ask to be surrounded by better people.  

Now.....onto it.

I was recently reading a blog I have grown to love and found a post written by a coach who talked about all of the things people do in his gym that piss him off.  It was pretty humorous and got me thinking....what do we do on a daily basis that probably drives Sam to drink?  There were some items in the list I was reading that I know I've done and I thought I'd take a moment to include them here.  Sam, let me know if I'm close....

Top 5 Reasons We Probably Suck

1. Asking how to perform an exercise before Sam has a chance to even explain the WOD.  Ummm...yeah I've done that.  Not often but I know I have and you know you have to.  Has Sam ever let us just go off and start a WOD without instruction on what to do? No...so we should probably quit asking.

2.  Interrupting another class.  Now I know that I have come into the gym for the 6pm class and observed the 5:00 warriors working through their WOD.  I try to do my best to not get in the way or do anything to interrupt but who knows...maybe I have.  I can imagine that it would be super annoying to Sam if someone came in and got in the way of the earlier class so that they could stretch or work on a skill or talk.  I know we're a community but for fucks sake......wait your turn.  The blog also talked about athletes who walked in during a class and asked their coach questions about the WOD.  I can't imagine anyone doing that and if you have....don't do it again! I think the penalty for this crime should be a C-punch. 

3.  Getting in the way.  This kinda goes with number two but I know I have been in the middle of a WOD and had people come in for the next class and start working on stuff right in my way. This has generally happened when I'm working out in the other room but it's happened (not naming names).  However, to be fair I also know that I've been an offender of the post-WOD stretch during the next class' warmup.  I don't know why I don't move to the other room.  The only thing that I can come up with is that I am so destroyed from the WOD that I forget where I am and temporarily lose my mind.  You'd think the stampeding sound of people running and squatting around me would bring me back to reality but sometimes I'm just an idiot.  I'm sorry Sam.  **Hangs my head in shame.**

4. Bumper plates. We love bumper plates.  I love them because I think I'm a badass when I can drop my heavy bar on the ground after a tough set.  The fact is, however, that we have a limited number of bumpers and we don't need to use them for everything.  I know.....it's crazy but true.  There is no strategic advantage to using bumpers.  We can't lift more weight with bumpers.  As much as I would like to believe it, there is no magic bumper fairy that helps us lift the bar.  I bet if they made a 2.5lb bumper plate, we'd think it was necessary to use it.  There are certain lifts that we absolutely need to use bumpers.  Cleans, snatches, jerks and push presses are where bumpers are necessary.  Deadlifts, squats and bench presses....not so much.  I sometimes forget that there are lots and lots of metal plates next door just itching to be strapped onto our bar.  And, when we deadlift with the metal I think we kinda look more badass because it makes loud noises.  Yup - I like loud noises.  So let's not freak out if we run out of 25 or 45 lb bumpers.  We need to use our noggins and grab the metal or else Sam may go postal on us.

5.  Freaking out over limited equipment.  I KNOW for a fact that many of us do this.  Because of the current size of our box, we don't have a ton of equipment.  When our WOD calls for ring work, I have heard people panic over the fact that we don't have enough to go around.  CrossFit is all about working with what you have and being inventive.  So there's 8 of us and 3 sets of rings?  Oh shit, I guess 5 of us will just have to go home since we don't have enough rings to go around.  Fuck you...see you later!  Uhhhh...no people.  Just think outside the box. We can stagger, start at different areas, or go in heats.  Why is this so hard for such badasses like us?  Do we panic so much over how much pain Sam is going to put us through that such elementary concepts leave our brain?  I think that must be the only explanation.

Don't get offended if you've done any of these things. As I've mentioned, I've done them too. I just wonder what Sam would think of this...yes Sam, I expect a response to this blog.  I heard Sam mention that he ran into one of the owners at 8th Day a few weeks ago and he mentioned that he had taught his first class in months.  Then I thought of our coach....Sam coaches us a minimum of 15 classes a week and that doesn't even include his other clients at his other gyms.  He gives a lot of his time to us and I think the least we can do is stop committing these horrible crimes of stupidity.  Remember - he alone holds the power to program WODs like Murph or, worse yet, workouts including wall balls and seated box jumps.  Let's not piss him off........I may not know from personal experience but I would guess that walls balls are worse than a C-punch any day.